But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
