I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
