I CAN MOONWALK!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
