Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
