I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
