You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize