just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
