on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
