If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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