hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
