So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I came so hard my ears popped.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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