She is in my trunk
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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