Someone shit on the floor
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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