I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
