the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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