Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
