i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize