Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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