I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
