Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize