you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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