Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
