yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
