I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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