Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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