They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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