help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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