If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
