I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
