new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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