I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
