Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
