call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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