Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
