I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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