You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize