how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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