I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
