I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
