But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
