well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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