I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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