I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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