Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
