FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize