I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
