Dual....:-)
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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