his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
