Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
