why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
