As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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