Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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