Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
