is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
