Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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