am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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