genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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