First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize