if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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