Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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