thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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