If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
