dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize