Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
