Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
