Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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