Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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