I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize