Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
