Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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