My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
