Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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