dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize