Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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