We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
