drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
