Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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