I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
