Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's shark week go big or go home
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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