He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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