She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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